Does anyone remember being a baby

In front of me was my mother in the front passenger seat. She had on a black hat, which had a particular kind of black netting. After describing this to my mother several times over the years, she has repeatedly confirmed that we were in a cab, that I was on my father's lap, and that she was in the front seat, wearing that hat. While undergoing hypnotherapy, I also remembered being in my pram and having a women with bright painted lips coming at me for a kiss.

I was not able to verify this even earlier memory. There is voluminous anecdotal evidence from researchers experimenting with psychedelic drugs, particularly Stanislav Grof, that people can remember various stage of gestation and birth. This is interesting, because these accounts also involve entering different states of consciousness.

Michael E. But they have stayed with me and I occasionally experience it today. It is a very very intense and unpleasant feeling of being trapped and trying to find a way out, but I couldn't Of feeling confused and panicked, something is happening around me but I feel helpless. It is hard to put a sensation into words, but I believe these are flashbacks of my birth.

I have an amazing memory of my childhood and even of being a baby. I can remember clearly the fun I had in the baby bouncer and and can even remember being in the pram with my twin brother the other end and staring up at faces.

They are flagrant with feeling alone, very alone, wet and cold or too hot next to the fire. Or remembering being flung on the couch as they fought and being afraid i would fall. I remember being very aware and alert as too these two people held my life in their hands and I could not move. I remember this. I have three or four memories, 2 being my first year and when I could not move and knowing that I had to learn ASAP or be hurt.

Samantha, Linton United Kingdom I also had horrific nightmares for many, many years that I couldn't place or describe until I understood the birth experience with an adult mind. There were two types of nightmares the first had no visual elements. They were purely physical - each part of my body being compressed and suffocating, and the darkest most hopeless feeling overtaking me.

As a child I would wake up crying and go into my parent's room to tell them I had a bad dream. They asked me to describe it, but I had no words except "its parts" as in body parts.

The dreams only lessened when I understood what they were, and I rarely had them afterwards, but it was well into my teenage years. Now I can't recall the last time I have dreamed this.

Anne, Waterloo, US I have memories from before 3 years old. I remember I was standing in my crib, the door was slightly open and light from the hallway was shining through. Then my dad came in, he was wearing his work shirt and he kissed me on the head, laid me back down, and walked out.

I had a wet diaper, so I was mad that he didn't change it. The most amazing memory I have was around 2 years old, my mother was giving me a bath in the kitchen sink and my dad was watching "The Flintstones", which was prime time in I was looking at the full moon outside the window and thinking "I wish I lived on the moon because its really quiet there". These two memories are very clear and I have had them my entire life. When I told my parents about the latter memory they said we moved out of that duplex when I was 2 years old.

They knew which one it was because I described the rock fireplace next to the TV to a 'T'. Debbie, Carmichael, USA I do remember being born, I have never told anybody except for my wife because I know how crazy it sounds and of course my wife doesn't believe me and i have no proof so that she would.

I don't remember the actual objects or people in the room. What I do remember is the feeling and emotions I went through at the time of birth. I remember being in a dark warm and comfortable place. I remember something trying to take me out of this warm dark place, I felt cold for a split second and I tried to fight to stay in the warm dark place, then suddenly I remember bright light and feeling very cold and uncomfortable. I felt so cold and uncomfortable that it must have imprinted a permanent memory of this event.

Mario, Union City USA I vividly recall seeing the old steel bedframe, a dimly lighted room no electrical lights at the time and the faces of my aunt and a neighbor. Not too many people believe the story but what the heck, I certainly do!! Jerry Irons, Cisco, Okla USA When I was very young toddler age I often had a recurring dream where I felt myself being lifted up on what felt like some kind of carpet and the dream would always end with me seeing a bright, bluish face.

When I woke I would have a strange tingling feeling in my navel and a strange smell in my nose. Uriah, US I think this warrants investigation. I do not remember being born. I've only met one person who says they do. I saw the baby bath and that reminded me of the earlier memory. I was very confused at the time because that meant I must have been a lot smaller. The whole world could be exploding and you wouldn't notice so long as mother's happy. I also have to stress that putting this into words immediately makes the recount inaccurate because there were no words at both points.

I think when a memory is of no use to you anymore it goes to the bottom of the pile unless you reaccess it. The key thing there is that what you think might be of interest to you is not always really what you truely want.

Thus, a past life memory, whether true or false has little value to most people deep down. I think it warrants investigation. It's testable. I read some of the entries here and at first was struck with disbelief like "yeah, right," so it made me understand better how my parents could not believe me. But it's still offensive to me that they don't believe me. I remember looking around in total blackness, thinking "where does that end? Does it go on forever? I can say I have a wonderful memory of that feeling.

Very wonderful and peaceful, and I can't think of a feeling that made me feel as nice as that. Anyway, I don't know if there was a break or not between this memory and the next, but the next memory I have is of the sound of water in your ears, and then I remember hearing crying which I'm sure was me, it was high pitched crying , then I remember very wobbly voices when I think of the voices right now, I imagine it's my mom's voice being urgent and wobbly with emotion, but I'm not sure , and very blurry figures of color, mostly white blurriness.

My guess is it was a doctor nurse maybe? And that's it. Probably like seconds of memory, but you know, it was day 0 for me so I'm sure my sense of time could be completely off. It was comforting to read this thread, I have to admit. For the skeptics, I just got done reading an article on a Chase Britton who was born without a cerebellum. It is supposed to be impossible for this child to have balance, show emotion, and many other things. He's also missing his pons, which Western medicine believED controlled sleeping and breathing.

I capitalize the past tense because, obviously, many doctors and experts are befuddled and realize they have to rethink what they thought they knew about the human brain. Skeptics feel free to Google it. I remember being in the kitchen, and seeing my Mum's legs near the kitchen counter. She dropped something on the floor, and I crawled over and put it in my mouth, and it tasted really bad.

I know that it was raw potato now. Another is being in the hospital playroom, trying to climb on top of a big red ball and I fell off it. I was there all the time for my little brother who's head wouldn't move from his left side. My brother is 21 months younger then me, and he had the therapy for his neck as an infant, so I was under three.

Also my Dad left my Mum when I was 24 months and didn't make contact at all for 6 months, and I remember him being at the hospital, so yeah, I was definitely under the age of 3 Taylor, Newcastle, Australia I had a 10 pound baby and of course I was very sore. I was in the upstairs bathroom and the baby monitor was in the next room. And the baby downstairs with the receiving monitor downstairs with my Mom. In the bathroom which getting around or doing everyday "tasks" were very painful.

Anyway I moaned and cried in pain which the downstairs monitor picked up. My daughter was sound asleep was startled awake and started screaming as told by my mother. I always wondered if she was having a flashback to the time of her birth a difficult one at that. What do you think? Colleem, Picton, Canada I have always found myself different, weird and abstract from others I remember not only being born but conception!

I know it sounds crazy. I did have a brief conversation with a soul mate in a place that seemed to be heaven. I even promised him that I would wait for him. I was told by some authority that I had to "Go Back". I know there is a lesson here. I remember picking my father, mother, sisters and brothers. During the process I was encased in the egg during fertilization. I grew within my mothers womb; resembling the universe. To many people this sounds pretty insane I know. With such vivid memories and telling my mother at the age of 2 that I " Picked Her".

Was obviously scary! The reason I know that my life is what I decided is everything I was told before coming here happened. My mother died of cancer Unfortunately I knew she would. I still have these weird abilities that make me ponder. No, I am not dealing with life through a dream or making believe I am special.

I have been evaluated and I am not mentally insane: I don't do drugs or drink. I just want to know is there anyone else that has experienced this? Let me know! More I remember the womb and not the womb. I remember the first steady clear noise I heard. I have since confirmed there was a television on in the recovery room when I was born and that the show in question was on at the time of my birth. We did not have a television at home.

I remember the theme song to the television show that was playing. I remember a lot, and understand there are others like me, discovered by researchers in synesthesia who have come across test subjects who also have AS. The thought processes change a great deal over the first few years.

Some people choose to carry over early memories to the lexicon. I remember trying to tell my parents what I had seen by pointing to the floor. I don't think they understood, but they responded with there's nothing there. I remember my parents also taking me to bed with them, but they put me back because they were annoyed by my screaming all night.

I remember feeling afraid of sleeping alone again that night but remember having a more pleasant dream about being in a ocean full a fish.. I really can't explain this dream. As for being born, I don't think the idea should be swept under the carpet, I do believe people could remember birth, but myself, I didn't. Stephen, Liverpool UK He had the same pre-birth experience as mine: "The other truly amazing memory was a feeling of lying on my side on the edge of infinity.

I think that is probably the closest thing to remember being in the womb. Hears a philosphical thing the human race is young I mean overall its age in the cosmos is that of a newly formed embryo and the earth is mankind's womb. Just think about it for a second people mention things like mother nature and there are statues of a green woman pregnant whos belly is the earth.

Humanity has a long way to go for enlightenment and such. Casey, Portland U. A I'm 12 years old and I keep on having this vision of a yellow room with a white man capturing me and I have tried to tell people about remembering being born let alone my time in the womb.

But they think am crazy,but i always believed there was an answer.. My surrounding was all red possibly from the sun rays through my mum's tummy. I could hear music playing in the background. At birth,i vaguely remember a lady with a nurse's attire carrying me,then i remember seeing my mum laying on a hospital bed looking weak,i recall seeing light and a feeling of becoming aware of my existence.

All these memories are very clear to me and believe it or not nobody can take them away from me. I am now 33years old. Around 6 years ago there was a dramatic experience,my sister in law gave birth to a son in the same hospital. I went to see her at the hospital,somehow a strange feeling came over me that i had been in this very spot before.

I reached for my phone and called mum,i asked her if she remembers the ward and bed she was when she gave birth to me,she said ward 6 bed 8 guess what???? I have shared this strange part of me with my family,my husband I think am really special!!! My first memories were that of my birth mothers intestines, I always seen this when I was up to age 5. I also remember my brain being formed and my teeth coming in. The pain was unbearable. This is a memory not a dream.

I also remember in the crib laying with no pillow and then to my amazement a pillow is set under my head. I have also memories of past life and the afterlife but that is different experience. To all those who have this memory, we are special and alive. R, Toronto Canada cool Brenda! I wish I would have an experience like that. What was the yellow room? Did you see it on your return visit? I'm interested in the realizing your existance thing, cool!!

What was it like? The memory is a vision of me trying to put my finger in the water behind the rail down in the caves. I've searched for more memories of that time, but haven't found anything yet. I've yet to try hypnotism, but I'm mostly convinced that maybe that could find something. I'll let ya know!

It is possible to remember the birth. I know that because I remember and those are the first things I remember in my life: I remember being thirsty. My mouth very dry. I remember shouting and getting calm as they came and treat me, then shouting again until sleep. And there are more couples of details. Rodrigo, Cacapava Brazil I remember being born.

I am 25 years of age and I remember even being alive before I was born. I remember my teeth jittering and passing out being born next and I recall the doctors voice and what he looked like the next day when I saw him and I never saw him again.

I confirmed what he looked like to my mother. I can also recall what our first home looked like we did not live there very long. Dana, Canada HOw can I remember my father? In this nightmare, I was in a very dark place. I could hear a heartbeat that seemed to be my own but not mine at the same time. I could also hear muffled voices saying things I was unable to understand. I also occasionally heard what sounded like silverware dropping on a metal tray.

As time passed, the heartbeat grew faster and louder. The voices seemed to also grow louder with a greater sense of urgency. Then I felt everything suddenly speed up and, all at once, the voices grew very loud in unison, to a crescendo, and I saw a bright blurry light. At this point, I would always wake up in a sweat with my heart beating fast, scared out of my wits.

My step-brother was born with pneumonia. In his mid-twenties he went through something called re-birthing to help him ease his memory of the traumatic experience. From his description of the re-birthing process and my recurring nightmare, I concluded that I had been repeatedly remembering my birth in a dream. Since the day of that realization until now, more than thirty years later, I have not had a recurrence of that dream.

But I still remember it vividly, and so therefore, I believe, do I also remember my own birth. I asked my Mom when I had my feet stamped. She said the only time was when I was born. I do remember being born. Stuart Peacock, Washington DC United States I have distinct memories of pulling myself up and holding onto the bars of my cot, before I was able to speak english and talking to my bedroom wall in the early light of morning.

I used to talk and talk in my own babble but get so frustrated and upset because no one would talk back to me. I must have done this regularly as my mother many years later told me she remembers waking up and hearing me and then having to get out of bed in the early morning because she knew eventually I would end up crying.

I also remember the colour and texture from inside of my pram hood and my head banging gently against the side of it when the pram was moving. I have also many other memories of little events long before I was 2 years old, including sitting on a cold white potty!

I can't recall being born but I am glad that I don't because apparently the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and my head kept pulling back into the neck of the womb. The midwife managed to pull the cord up over my head allowing me to finally come out. Jan, York England I'm nearly 16 and no one believes me when I tell them I still faintly remember being born. But I know I do. Why would I lie about remembering something? To seem cool on the internet?

I remember coming out from darkness and then I saw bright, white light and I almost feel like I remember crying too. I've had this memory since I was a little girl but my parents and family have never believed it. Gracie, United States I can recall nothing of the "coming out" experience of birth However I remember being handled by a man then placed on a table while he did something I wasn't able to see everything was quite blurry The main memory was it was so cold it almost burned.

After that nothing till I was 3 Jason, Scott United States I always had continuous dreams of dying as a baby, but in the dream when I was suffering pains and about to die, someone held my hand and said.. It was not until later in life, in my teens that my nasty sister told me my mother tried to abort me. When I confronted her my mother she did not deny it, but stated "when you were born, you were loved" Consequently I am certain there is a superior being,..

Robert, Armagh N Ireland I can remember my birth mike wilson, warren arkansas bradley I remembered emerging from my mother with my left shoulder dislocated when I underwent cranial osteopathy. When I described the room and the time on the clock on the wall to my mother she needed a whisky. She went on to tell the 3-day story of her labour with me and my memory was corroborated. I also remember a previous death, from another cranial osteopathy session.

In Buchenwald in the s - most unpleasant place. Steve the Healer, Ashford UK I had for a long time a vague recollection of going from one life to another.

It wasn't until my mid forties that I realised that it may have been my life in utero to my experience of life a few minutes after birth. I recall figures and light. I also recall at a young age watching people talking and the moment I realised they were communicating as my ability to understand their words became more developed.

I recall also at a young age watching people leave a room, and then come back, and realising coming back was possible. At the age of one there is a photo of me and my sister holding chickens, I recall my grandmother asking me to hold them, and freaking out, then seeing my sister already with them in her hands and being relieved. It is now early In my 20s, in an elevator, I suddenly had a sensation of smelling something that I had never smelled before.

Almost immediately, I went into a short-lived trance, experiencing what Tom Chico described. I felt this tight smooth sensation, like pulling a turtle neck on, that had equal pressure all over my body. I felt my eyes were closed, and I felt as though I was moving head first, squeezed through something tight and soft. I had this experience about 6 times in my life and realize it sounds just like I was going through the birth canal.

I do not remember getting to the outside, I don't remember being in the womb and at this point 63 years old I have no memories of early childhood. But the very unusual odour would put me into this trance where several times in my life I would go through the sensation and experience being, what I now feel was being born.

I found it peaceful and gentle and would love to be able to experience it on demand and perhaps feel more and not awaken out of the trance so quickly.

I suppose I am lucky that I actually got to experience this ultimate sensation more than once! I didn't realize until I was an adult and had my own children that the dreams I had as a child was my mother, having a hard time giving birth to me. She gave me up to a family friend a day later. I found my family. I have remembered things from 1 month and after! I remember my mother yelling for my father that someone took me. At 3 months, I remember my father falling through the porch floor; weak boards!

We rushed him to the hospital, he had a broken arm and a broken rib. I remember when my sisters and brother were all born!

Each came home in a yellow outfit! When i was 2, my legs didnt want to work, , i played hide and seek with my uncle,,and i remember the house we lived in,each room, the color of the walls and doors even the floors!

I have other memories from when i was 1 - some good, some not so good! When I was 11 months old, I gave a lady at the grocery store a heart attack right there on the street, she thought i was a doll, until i moved! I once asked my mother about these events and she was flabbergasted that i could even remember them! She herself has never told me anything and neither has my father, who hasn't been in my life from age 8 until now.

I have no clue as to how I remember all this, I just do! No one in my family can even remotely begin to tell me how I can remember all this - I was, as they say, ""just a baby".

I was once sitting in my living room chair at the age of 15, and suddenly, I had a memory- of being BORN! I had never discussed it with my mother before, but she said all of my memories were accurate, down to the minutia of detail that I could have known only by first-hand knowledge.

I remember being in a walker at my Nanny's home to which I had only been to as an infant until later. In this instance, I was looking up at her thinking clearly to myself, "why are you talking like that lady?

I understand what you are saying! In another case, I am even younger, in my crib, and I was salivating over the puffy little animals on my mobile that hung over the crib.

In particular, the "red" on a horse looked delicious. I remember just knowing that if it was in my mouth it would taste "red". I described other places and the placement of furniture and such in places where I have never been, except as an infant. Avril B. I cannot remember being born but I have memory of being in my mother's womb.

I have written a book People Of The Womb which should be available in late In the book I recreate something of the experience of our lives in the womb, the gradual shift to our adult lives and the ongoing interrelationship between the beings we are while in the womb and the adult lives we live. Richard Blinn, Canada I have the memory of being in the womb just before birth and I remember feeling that it was time to go and that I was apprehensive about it.

Then I remember knowing that I had to go and something similar to the near death experience reports of going towards a light. After being born I remember being blinded by this light. My eyes became acclimatised to the light about the same time I recall being grabbed by a leg, held upside down and slapped on the behind and crying.

I remember it being a rather shocking and unsettling affair. I remembered this later in life and it came to me in a dream, but I have had some pretty profound dreams and it seemed like an actual memory to me at the time. Since then I've had out of body experiences and I trust my instincts. I am however open to the possibility that this all could just be a dream that my mind concocted.

I have often wondered if this is a womb memory. I recently discovered that I have a high-functioning autistic syndrome - I was synaesthetic as a child, and obsessional traits such as the alphabet trying constantly to find the letters in order persist. I wonder if autistic brains develop differently in the womb, making memory possible. Diana Lyons, Leeds, England Yes, it is possible to remember being born. My eldest son, Ainan, who is a child prodigy, described his own birth, before he was 12 months of age his speech was advanced , from the perspective of someone in the womb, at the time.

It was an uncanny moment and both my wife and I witnessed his account. Our other children also exhibited very early memories, of their childhood - in fact, I hesitate to write, here, of the nature and timing of those memories, lest I not be believed. Our entire family has memories way before anyone might expect them to have memories. From our experience, I would say that it is just a myth that children cannot remember before the age of 3. All of us have much earlier memories than that.

Valentine Cawley, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia I've stopped telling people that I remember being in the womb and some things shortly after I was born, because the universal response is that these memories are an impossibility.

But, here is a short list of some things I remember: 1 being in the womb 2 being in an incubator 3 being in my crib at home and looking at the fish tank in my room 4 being rocked by my mother next to my crib 5 seeing my older brother and his friend playing and not being able to join them because I was stuck in a playpen 5 Walking for the first time in front of both my parents - my dad behind me and my mom in front of me they went crazy with praise!

I do not have a memory of actually being born. I'm not sure I'd want to remember that, anyway! I asked my mother how many months she breast fed me, she said one year only. I also remember another time, some neighbour laughing at me for breast feeding at old age. I believe at that time I must be about one year old and could not understand what the neighbour said.

Charlie Zhao, Shanghai, China I've always had memories of my infancy, never of being born, but very vivid, colourful memories of sitting in my crib with my grandparents discussing me but not really speaking directly to me. I remember riding in the backseat of the car, I don't know where we were going but my mother was in the front passenger seat wearing a muted pink dress, I always stared at her because she was very beautiful to me. My grandfather, who I felt loved me very much would rock me in a rocking chair - this was a great comfort to me and I enjoyed this tremendously.

My grandfather encouraged me to walk and practiced with me around the living room table. I told my mother of my memories when I was very young, she would always look at me quizzically and say, "how do you remember those things? I've always tasted color, it's a very pleasant sensation. I can remember learning how to walk when I was under the age of one.

It blew my mind that I could remember that far back. The mind is a powerful thing, and on more than one occasion I have predicted something that has happened later. I feel like with the help of the right person I could control this part of my brain and do extraordinary things.

However, I had a conversation with one of my 3 year old twins that floored me a couple of days ago. We were looking at my ultrasound pictures from the "twin pregnancy" and he said,"I remember when he was in your tummy mommy.

I was swimming in the green water and kicking you. Then there was a dark hole and I was out. He has never seen any person or animal either in person or on TV give birth so it definitely gave me a shock! Makes me wonder He was happy and and asked me if "I remembered that big bright white light". I squated down to his height at the time and asked him "What big bright white light"? He said "you remember The day I picked you and dad". Then he skipped out of the kitchen to continue playing I couldn't believe it Did he actually remember being born?

He is now 27 and does not seem to recall that conversation with me, but it sure has stayed with me. I am just so happy that he seemed pleased and content about it. It was comfortable amazing and and dark in the beginning and then very tight, and uneasy. Also i remember forming the recantation on dim warm light or color,or may be temperature of light,later on, and constant beat probably heart i remember the event of Birth.

Light and first breath and entrance the world. I remember the event being very difficult and painful but also victorious, remember haven complete consciousness at the time. At some point it becomes memory of memory, but i still can recollect very particular sense.

Rina, moscow russia Absolutly, it is possible to remember birth and infant life. My parents tell me when I was very young maybe 3 , I would tell them about being born.

I told them about the brigth lights, the hospital room and being laid on my mothers stomach things a 3 year old child would not know-this was , before television was in our homes. I was pre-mature and therefore spent the first 6 weeks of my like in a hospital incubator. I will mention a few here because I think it is interesting to know how an infant thinks.

I was about 5 months old and it was Easter Sunday. My sister and I were sitting on a patio bench, the type that is made of metal cross wires. I remember the light coming through the the square holes formed by the cross wires. The light was so amazing, I could not take my eyes away. I have the picures from that day in a photo albume. In every picrure, I am looking down at the bench. I have another memory around 15 months old. My sister and I are sitting under a Christmas tree.

I remember my sister and I were not happy because the Christmas tree was not our Christmas tree and the presents were not for us. I suppose our parents thought my sister and I were too young to know what was going on but we definitly did know what was going on and we were most certainly not happy about it. I remember one of the kids got a stick-horse and I wanted that stick-horse so badly.

I have that picture in my photo album too. My sister and I both look like we are about to start crying! One more memmory that I find interesting is a thought I had some time before 12 months old. I was lying in my crib, and was thinking about the grave yard next door to our house.

I remember wondering why people thought it was scary to live next to a grave yard. I remember thinking how silly they were because it was not scary at all. I do not think I thought this in words exactly but somehow I thought it.! Finally, the reason I felt compelled to seek others who have these same kind of memories is because of something that happened resently.

When scientists asked him to copy a drawing of a five-pointed star by looking at it in a mirror harder than it sounds , he improved with each round of practise — despite the fact the experience itself felt completely new to him. But is the under-formed hippocampus losing our long-term memories, or are they never formed in the first place? We should be very wary about what we do recall from that time, though — our childhood is probably full of false memories for events that never occurred.

Elizabeth Loftus, a psychologist at the University of California, Irvine, has devoted her career to the phenomenon. Loftus knows first-hand how easily this happens. Her mother drowned in a swimming pool when she was just Years later, a relative convinced her that she had discovered her floating body.

Back in the s, she recruited volunteers for a study and planted the memories herself. Loftus spun an elaborate lie about a traumatic trip to a shopping mall when they got lost, before being rescued by a kindly elderly woman and reunited.

To make the event more plausible, she even roped in their families. Even if your memories are based on real events, they have probably been moulded and refashioned in hindsight — memories planted by conversations rather than first-person memories of the actual events.

That time you thought it would be funny to turn your sister into a zebra with permanent marker? You saw it in a family video. The incredible third birthday cake your mother made you? Your older brother told you about it. If you liked this story, sign up for the weekly bbc. In Depth Neuroscience. The mystery of why you can't remember being a baby. Share using Email. But it just reminds me of the sensation, just squeezing together like this. Donna Lu: It seems almost unbelievable that you can remember things from when you were very, very young, and I guess there's no way of verifying it.

Do you have people ask you who are bit skeptical about those memories? What do you say to those people? Now can you tell me the answer you gave two years ago? I can't even cheat and write down what I say without them knowing. So, that's something when I come across skeptics that does satisfy the most skeptical people somewhat at least. And another thing I do is that I'm drawing my memories that I saw as an infant, a child, a teenager, an adult.

I'm drawing my memories and that tends to interest a fair few people who were skeptical as well, just showing all the detail of what I saw at that age. But the one that tends to satisfy most is mentioning the video and how it's recorded and that then I 'm asked of it years later. Janet: Well, I think with Rebecca's memory, the thing that always…I think that shocked me the most, was when she was talking once to somebody and she was explaining how she dreams; and even though she has dreams like we have — you know, people without HSHAM, neurotypical people — she can actually remember all the dreams she's ever had in sequence, and that she's consciously aware when she's dreaming that she's dreaming.

Janet: Yeah, it is. And Bec can change her dreams as well. She mentioned once that she was having a dream and it wasn't a particularly interesting dream, so she started planning — because Becky, having autism, likes to timetable her day and activities. So she said while she was still dreaming, she was — at the same time — timetabling her upcoming day of the activity she was doing. So, she always says to me, she's not good at multitasking being autistic, she's very literal.

I thought that was absolutely mind blowing for me. Donna Lu: Yeah. Planning in your sleep and waking up prepared for the day ahead.

Rebecca Sharrock: In relation to what Mum just said…I found with dreaming, before I was one and a half I didn't dream; but then when I first started dreaming — I can't give you the calendar date, all I know is that it was in between my 1st and 2nd birthday — and I'm going by the fact that it was cold, so it would have been winter, which is…six months before my birthday.

So I was about one and a half. And I found I just went to sleep, and I was in this room with all this fruit and ball-and-shoot machines, and I thought I'd really been taken somewhere. Where did I go? We went to Dream World. That's what they're called.

I want to ask Mind if I can wake up go back home. Donna Lu: Having such an incredible memory almost seems like a superpower, but are there any challenges or difficulties you have as a result? You mentioned the insomnia earlier. Rebecca Sharrock: Yeah, there are various challenges which I have…I find it difficult getting to sleep at night because my mind's always racing.

I also do get a lot of headaches, and I can't sit down and rest easily because my mind's always alive, and I can't sit down and relax because I'm always getting ideas to do ten different things and to keep myself busy.

Donna Lu: So, do you kind of have a bit of trouble distinguishing sometimes between things that have just happened or are happening, and things that happened years in the past? Rebecca Sharrock: Yeah, especially when I'm in the moment of reliving the memory, my conscience and reasoning does know that I'm in the present time, but emotionally it can cause confusion because I'm reliving something that happened to me as a seven-year-old, but I'm reliving it with seven-year-old emotions.

That was years ago, why you crying because of losing a lollipop, why are you crying about that? And that certainly was the motivator when I first realized that Becky had this, and I was determined to get the classification done by the University. And it took a few years for them to do the testing, and then I thought, well, if they've discovered this memory, maybe they can find out how it's happening and then maybe they can switch it off. I hope that they could find a way of reversing it all or blocking it in some way — if they could find out what part of the brain was triggering the memories.

But what's happened instead is that Becky, in finding out about the memory, her coping with the discovery of the memory has really helped her anxiety. Donna Lu: On a slightly lighter note Janet, are there are any interesting things that you've noticed about Rebecca's HSAM that sometimes might be a bit tricky for you to handle?

Janet: Well, I have to watch everything I say, and I noticed that even as child; you know, when you go somewhere and the kids say, 'Will you buy this for me? Five years later, she remembers you said this. So, I have a good memory for remembering conversations, and so I kind of know what it feels like for Rebecca in a sense when people say one thing, and then they try and pretend they haven't said it a year later. So I'm always very cautious when I talk to Becky that I know she'll remember it.

And then if I say something, I never back myself into a corner; I always make it that I have an out. There are the obvious advantages with, I'll ask Becky you know, when did I buy this, how old is this? How old is this TV? How old is this kettle? How old is this? You know, and then she'll say it's five years, and I know it's just out of warranty. So, I do that all the time. That a good one, because they're all the things that we forget. But I never remember to tell her where I put the receipts, so even though I'll know some things are within warranty still, I can never find out, and I know I've saved them.

What do you remember? Me coming into the house with it? Donna Lu: So that's pretty much all of the questions that I had. Becky, do you have any more general comments about your experience, or is there anything that you'd like people to know about what it's like to have HSAM? It's hard to know what it's like not to have HSAM for me, because I've never known life any differently.

But it is a really strange thought for me whenever friends and family have said that a whole chunk of their childhood is just gone. I find the concept strange, to have lived for a stretch of years, and yet have no recollections of it. That's strange to me.